Kimimi’s Hall of Shame: Playstation 2 edition

It may come as no surprise to learn that I’m quite fond of videogames, and have been since… since always, really. Unfortunately enthusiasm for my hobby and having the free time to actually do something about it rarely match up, and over the years I’ve amassed more games than I should probably admit to not finishing (or in some cases, not even starting). In any case, I’m hoping that this first attempt at publicly humiliating myself will give me the drive I need to get around to playing them sooner rather than later, or if nothing else give everyone reading a reason to poke me for being such a fickle and unfocused gamer.

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Shame #1: Phantasy Star: Generation 1

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How could I not buy this, a lovingly-crafted remake of the game that started one of Sega’s biggest RPG series and the start of what could arguably be the greatest retro-remake series of all time?! It also comes with a special folder to store all the info cards that came with each game (although they stopped making those after a while) and generally looks pretty spiffy all round. So how come I’ve not finished this yet? Simple! My sense of direction is roughly on a par with a spinning top after a pint of vodka, making traversing the first-person dungeons of the Algol System incredibly difficult – and I always forget to go searching the net for maps!

 

Shame #2: Digital Devil Saga: Avatar Tuner

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This is the “worst” game on my list, as I’ve not even opened this one! It’s not through lack of interest – Atlus’ PS2-era RPGs were always achingly stylish – but because I keep picking it up and thinking “I really will buy part two one day and play them through back-to-back. Wouldn’t that be an awesome thing to do?”. I first said that to myself several years ago, and I still haven’t remembered to actually do that (You may wonder why I don’t sort that out now – let’s just say “Steam Summer Sale”).

 

 

Shame #3: Deka Voice

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Who doesn’t want to play a so-stylish-it-hurts cel-shaded noir-esque detective voice-controlled game with a dog sidekick (why yes, I am paid by the hyphen*)? Unfortunately Deka Voice’s setting is a little too adult to play with my son around, and trying to command a German Shepard to search for drugs in Japanese is something my husband would find hilarious. I could take refuge and play it through the relative privacy of my laptop… only PCSX2 doesn’t recognise USB headsets, and voice commands aren’t an optional extra in this wonderful title.

*lies: I’m not paid at all

 

Shame #4: Tori no Hoshi: Aerial Planet

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Waitaminute! What’s this doing on here?! Didn’t I blog about it a while ago? Well, this one really isn’t my fault – I was making steady progress, I knew all my spacebird behaviours and I could fly my glider like a pro! Then… then my PS3 decided that it was tired of functioning properly and decided life would be better all round if it could force me to format the hard drive. Utterly crushed by this unexpected defeat when I almost hard the game beat, I’ve not been able to work up the mental fortitude to seriously dive back in since.

 

 

Shame #5: Super Robot Taisen OG Gaiden

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Like any woman, I love the idea of using giant Japanese robots, mechs, and whatever the hell else is in this game battling against each other in an SRPG environment. I also love grabbing a giant limited edition box that contains a groovy poseable robot figure (not pictured). Unfortunately I’ve never played any of the Original Generation games, and as such I haven’t the foggiest idea what’s going on. At all. I also know next to nothing about giant robots/mechs other than this little nugget: building Gundam kits is an excellent way to turn your fingertips into scalpel-hewn shells of their former selves. OG Gaiden continues to sit on the shelf and taunt me, and will probably continue to do so for a while yet.

 

Shame #6: Elvandia Story

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This one piqued my interest for a rather unusual reason – the composer list is really very impressive! The music for this pretty SRPG is credited to Noriyuki Iwadare, Norihiko Hibino, and Yoshitaka Suzuki. If those names don’t ring a bell then their work definitely will: Lunar, Metal Gear Solid 2, and Bayonetta respectively, and that’s not even scratching the surface of their collective efforts. So why haven’t I dedicated some special time to hear their work in this game? Simple: contrary to popular opinion I am only human and there’s sometimes just not enough Kimimi to go around!

 

 

Shame #7: Mojibribbon

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So how do you follow up games about rapping dogs, guitar-playing lambs, and dancing wireframe rabbits? With a calligraphy-inspired rapping inkblot, that’s how! Mojibribbon’s a beautiful and brilliant game that’s just bursting with the sort of creativity that makes me proud to champion this hobby… unfortunately I was born under the “Dancing Dad at Disco” star and as such I lack any sense of rhythm whatsoever.

 

 

 

Shame #8: Shining Force Neo

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Unlike a lot of Sega fans I don’t want to cast this game into a fiery pit just for being a Shining Force game that’s not an SRPG, and I don’t even really mind it being an OK-but-not-spectacular relaunch/retelling of the Mega Drive classic. It’s just sort of “there”: hanging around and making me look bad. From what I remember I just got distracted by a game that was a bit shinier and/or a bit more exciting and never got back around to finishing it even though I also have the official guide lurking around here somewhere (it’s about the size and weight of a large tank, in case you were wondering).

 

 

Shame #9: Radiata Stories

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From what I can recall this game lets you kick a dog. I remember nothing else.

Nice cover though.

 

 

 

 

Shame #10: Rebirth Moon

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I keep telling myself I like Idea Factory RPGs (and I really -sort of- do), especially when I can get my hands on fancy boxes stuffed with all sorts of neat extras. But then I never seem to find the time to, y’know, actually play them. In my defence I have finished several of their other games, just not this one. Or any of their other PS2 RPGs that are gathering dust on my shelves. My bad.

 

 

 

Time to turn in my gaming badge or should I get stuck in? Got a favourite here or your own pile of shame? Let me know!