Kimimi’s Brief Guide to the Flora and Fauna and GIANT ALIEN MONSTERS of E.D.N. III

I’ve been playing a lot of Lost Planet 2 lately as well as its anime high school counterpart, E.X. Troopers, and even though I’ve been tweeting screenshots almost to the point of abuse I’ve feel I’ve been having a hard time getting across exactly how huge and plain old exciting fighting anything and everything in these games is, so one early morning and a surreal chat with a certain cat later here we are. This post will hopefully go some some way to rectifying that… although possibly not in the way you’d expect.

Meet Wesker. Wesker is 6ft3 (as of Resident Evil 5, but that’s another story) of pure sunglasses. I mean evil. Evil sunglasses? Anyway! He’s an unlockable character in Lost Planet 2 which makes his appearance here entirely justified and not at all superfluous shoe-horning. He’s also our baseline by which we’re going to measure the size of the various wildlife of E.D.N. III.

I'm so sorry but I adore this pose XD

But before we get on to giant Akrids with more teeth than a manufactured boy band we need to start with a references that’s a little more ordinary, so here’s Dr. Mr. Evil next to a selection of popular farmyard animals (animal heights garnered from some half-arsed Googling).

wesker animal height chart 

As you can see, Wesker is taller than a Friesian cow, a Generic Wool Unit and the rooster found on a Certain Brand of Cereal. Great! “But Kimimi, how does that help me understand the colossal size of the various enemies in Lost Planet 2?”, you’re probably asking. Err… it doesn’t, I suppose. But that’s OK, because we haven’t finished yet!

Lost Planet 2 helpfully groups most of its Akrids into three different categories – S, M, (with me so far?) and G (Giant!). There’s also an Over-G, and well… we’ll get to that in a bit. For now, let’s start with the smallest and work our way up.

(Scale images shown are possibly not quite entirely 100% accurate and may have been hastily scribbled in five minutes)

Category S Akrids:

AKA: Target practise. These are the most common Akrids encountered and while they don’t take much to kill there’s always enough of them around to cause a problem if you think you can just ignore them and carry on your merry way. Note how we’re already dwarfed by these chaps – and things are only going to keep getting bigger!

2015-02-06_000482015-02-06_00040

weskerSakrid 

Category M Akrids:

“Medium” isn’t a word that normally conjures up much excitement, but with Lost Planet 2’s design philosophy being something along the lines of “Like a normal action game but BIGGER AND FUELLED BY ARTIFICIAL COLOURS AND FLAVOURINGS” M-size Akrids are more intelligent, dangerous, and better armoured than most and they require careful shooting of their glowing squishy parts to take down.

SpikyShouty

WeskerMakrid 

Category G Akrids:

Now we’re talking! “Cat G’s”, as you’ll hear them called over frantic radio messages, are always boss battles and they’re always awe-inspiring. “Giant” in Lost Planet 2 terms means at least “A size that can be measured in football pitches” although sometimes “Twice the size of Scotland, and even more aggressive”. Akrids in this class need heavy-duty weaponry to take them down, up to and including a cannon the length of a blue whale mounted on top of a stolen high speed train.

"The train bit""That not-spider that needs shooting at with a giant laser"

WeskerGakrid 

Over G:

There’s only one of these, and well… it’s HUGE. Like, “needs a massive space-laser firing at it from orbit to kill it” kind of huge. It’s so big it’s not really an enemy in the traditional sense, but an entire mission. A mission with checkpoints and dataposts and bosses inside bosses and… yeah, it’s big.

This screenshot isn't supposed to make much sense, so don't worry about it

So! What have we learned here? Umm… that’s a very good question! Err…. ah! Yes! We’ve learned that Lost Planet 2 is an incredible game that has throwaway miniboss battles of the sort of size and spectacle that most ordinary games would reserve for centerpiece end-of-game fights. Oh and everything is bigger than you and would like to eat you for lunch, or at the very least hoof your body 20ft into the air and then stomp on your puny human remains. Happy hunting!