New database entry! Deep Freeze

THE TACTICS HAS BEEN STARTING

So I played this as part of my “Kimimi goes on a mad binge playing random and most probably mediocre 32-bit era adventure games” phase which culminated in the eye-wateringly awful Septentrion, a game which has the dubious honour of being the worst I’ve played in a very long time.

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At first glance you’d think that Deep Freeze was a throwaway low-budget sort of affair – it certainly looks, sounds, and plays like one after all. But a quick flip through the manual reveals that there’s a military advisor in the credits as well as a motion capture studio and Yasushi Akimoto’s name splashed alongside all the copyright info… I had to look the name up, and it might be this chap, although the Japanese wiki makes no mention of his (apparent) involvement with Deep Freeze either. Then again, I’d probably want all association with this game wiped from my professional record too: the English voice actors used here aren’t even listed on IMDB, which in quality terms places these people below the cast of Hard Edge!

But while Deep Freeze is definitely pretty rubbish, it’s not really terrible either. The nonsensical plot coupled with the substandard voice acting means most scenes will raise an unintentional laugh, as will flipping through your selection of AI partners and finding that Sniper specialises in using… handguns. Oh, and you have another partner with the intimidating codename “Bagel” too – who honestly thought that was a good idea?

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For the price it currently goes for (somewhere between nothing and stuff all) Deep Freeze is a stupid game that’ll give you an idle weekend filled with improbable terrorists, cheap-as-all-heck ninja-like baddies, and a ridiculous plot to cleanse the world of humans by a woman called MAM. Yep, really. Just don’t play it on the standard difficulty like I did, because the later missions become utterly infuriating if you do and I take no responsibility for any damages caused to your Playstation by playing this sort-of-but-not-recommendation-to-possibly-perhaps-if-you’re-so-inclined play Deep Freeze.

The proper database entry’s over here, if you want a little bit more info – click!